i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Randomize
