do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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