So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
