@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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