your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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