girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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