Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
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