Can Purell be used as lube?
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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