So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
