I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
