he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Randomize
