Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Randomize
