the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Randomize
