Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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