all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
