That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize
