So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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