Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
But theres a keg here and me gusta
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
