I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Randomize
