Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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