It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
