just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Randomize
