We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
