im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
