My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
babies were throwing up all over the place
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Randomize
