went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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