amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
