Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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