the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
