Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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