Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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