why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Randomize
