Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
