great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
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