just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
