last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
