but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
the liver wants what the liver wants
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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