Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
