guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
