I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
