If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
