you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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