The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
