i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
