I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
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