This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
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