Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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