i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
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