I only kidnapped one of them. chill
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
