My hair reeks of homosexuality.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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